[Aesthetic]

Originally Posted by Mike rips Mics

I said im Rolling in the Deep feel the fire at my feet
Solid, but lacks the strength intros usually come with, try relating the 2 more directly.
cause im on an uphill battle and this travels pretty steep
and this road is pretty narrow so make sure that you can see
The uphill battle thing doesn't correlate with "feel the fire at my feet" which makes it offputting. And I find that narrow roads make it easier to see not really something you need to address let alone make the listener aknowledge
come equipped with bows and arrows or prepare for your defeat
not feelin it
what I mean?
Cool separation though; I mean, I know what you mean. lol
that this game is full of sharks trynna eat
everybody got the same goals and the same dreams
This was kind of cool
no lights we putting up fights in dark streets
don't know where im headed so I follow my heart beat
Very cool, direct and easy metaphor use.
young nigga born in Nine four (94) , don't get it twisted ive fought in 9 wars
Elaborate or it's just talk; talk is cheap.
im a mo'fucking general money coming in like its revenue
the only goal I had was to always be ahead of you
and prove to you hating that ima fucking make it
whether now or in the future my ambitions never fading
and prove to you hating that ima fucking make it
whether now or in the future my ambitions never fading
You aint got shit to prove bruh, I felt like you should have made it about proving it to yourself, not other people. I find that as a source of weakness
i said it twice i hope that you get the memo
now roll up that cigarillo, they sleep on me like a pillow
You turned this shit around fast. Stay on point please.
perc got me so mellow, im so high like Hello
smoke that Lala like Melo, Eyes redder then elmo
and im always strapped Velcro,
Velcro aint a strap, I think that's why it's called velcro. But I get it, lyrically it wasn't good, at all.
bodies on the shottie watch how quick i let them shells go
I hear this in every mainstream rap song. Something about slugs in your chest?

@Mike rips Mics

I like the reality but in actuality the entire piece was a casualty.

Welcome to netcees.

Try putting 10 minutes into each line; felt like you rushed through this shit.