[Pinot Grij]

If I may vote....

Lars, really taken with the pace of the verse.. each couplet was nicely worded, but the short bar format made it fleeting and quickened it, leading me right into the next pairing. I think the diction was spot on - playing with gambling terms and rhyming them effortlessly... it kept things brisk and entertaining. The story itself, sure, seems a bit trite.. but the approach brought it life. I think it felt flat in the lines that transitioned from the letter to the contemplation of the words... the passage of time section, but once the character began ruminating the hidden meaning, it picked right back up. The interplay of life/gambling seemed unforced. There was a genuine feel to the story, really really impressed with the result.

Vulgar, completely different take and I liked the fantasy approach... the diction was a little spotty in parts, but the fantastical feel was always there - good job setting up the atmosphere. The first thing I noticed by comparison to Lars was that the lines seemed to run on a bit more... more work for the payoff. I was troubled by 'solacy' - not a real word, so that detracted from the feel for me as it opened up. Although I liked the story as a whole, a few things jumped out at me... such as the uncle being ready to bludgeon his niece to death mere moments after he "becomes rich". I think if there was a little more build up to show his internal jealousy, it would've really added depth overall. My main impression from the battle as a whole was that it seemed Lars was very fluid in his storytelling and Vulgar's piece was just a little more choppy - it jumped around a bit.

My vote goes to Lars for a more fluid execution... I got more swept up in his story and it had more feeling overall for me.