[THE REAL CAPTAIN OBVIOUS]

Originally Posted by Objective

You don't have to fuck her in the ass if you don't want to. No-one does. Just do it the regular way. That said; pull out right before you're about to come and aim for her face or her favourite furniture, or her dog if she has one. I promise you'll never see her or that guy again. Problem solved.

You can thank me later.

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