Z had a well thought out verse, he used his mechanics well to create a pretty good verse. The flow kept me reading, you used your multies effectively to propel your lines towards the end rhymes. It was an enjoyable read. Pat, you have a good base, you just need to make your verses a bit more diverse. Add some content into your lines, and make people think about what is coming next. I don't like how you cut it short, you could have made it a little more diverse, and longer. Immerse the reader in your story, I assure you that they will thank you.
V/ ZD he just came correct.
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by takem2school
Me vs you only if that’s what it takes.
Battle to the death
|
like a woolah what it do to one’s medulla oblongata- revenge of Montezuma on a blotter
|