Originally Posted by CopyPat
The bonafied most trusted, often keepin all these rhymes so gushed, I’m off the deep end
You must be pronouncing gushed (gush ded or gush did) to complete the rhyme with trusted....which is the wrong pronunciation....but w/e I guess you are
free to bend a word however you like. I'm not a huge fan of the line by itself.
Basically you saying you're the genuine most trusted....followed by filler.
Caught ya sleepin, cots and z’s when spittin ya raps ya jaw’s fatiguing
I like the follow up of multi's...I can't really say the bar is worth more than just that
MULTI'S.
Officially wack. Walkin breathin shit of a man, that’s always greasin’
I’m Mr. Miyagi crossed between a pistol I’m bangin gongs for weeks
Personally I think you're transition into this bar from the previous would have been
much smoother if you had used of multi off of the "jaw's fatiguing" rhyme
I know after officially whack the rhyme comes in...but I just think it's have been
better placed in the beginning. "Banging gongs for weeks" does not in any way
rhyme with "that's always greasin" or any part of that tbh.
I see you do attempt a slant rhyme with it in the next line with "Dawson creek"
Idk....perhaps it would have been pulled off in audio....
But I don't see it flying in text.
Listen you faggots, I’m off the streets, my living is lavish, Dawson’s Creek
I’m kidding, I’m average, not extreme. But getting the cash ain’t hard for me
By this point you seem to be back up to par with ya multi's again
Good. Stereo typical copy pat. Lyrically I gotta say this is pretty weak though.
I'm not saying I'm the superior writer here....I may or may not be
Frankly I don't care either way but I still know dope when I see it
I'm still a fan of the art and beyond that it is up to you
To take my feed or leave it.
Shit on the rap game, cop some feces. I’m different that way, an awkward species
My syllable count approximately a billion, bounce. You cannot compete
I’m silly with nouns, drop a beat and really get down. Lava deep
I actually dug the scheming here. It's very unorthodox..
But cool.
Illy with sounds obviously killing you clowns, comically.
Like Gilligan’s Island ya’ll is beached. While I’m spitting a mile of solid sea
This bar was dope, no ifs ands or buts about it. You got a thumbs up here.
The spillage could drown a soccer field and fill in surrounding properties
I’m liquid just dousing causing scenes, you spitting a drought see, hardly leak
Meh. Its aight.
The villain who vowed to haunt ya dreams, cause your vision is clouded, can’t you see?
I’m sick of the baggage these panties speak, like they skivvies is scandalous. Pack some heat
Solid scheming here.
Really I’m fabulous actually, living frivolous the glass is crammed to me
Not half empty, got apathy? Then fix it and act. Stop draggin feet
God damn you weak, all fragile geeks. You all actin beef, it’s all sandwich meat
Balsamic speak cause ya wine in ya sentence, all facts that lead to vagina infections
A pretty solid fit of scheming to end it.
All in all this was just "ok". I've read FAR more fluid flows from you before...
On a copy pay 1-10 this was a 4.5 swinging to 5. I know for a fact you can do better, lyrical or not....flow/scheme wise you are capable of far more.
It was mildly entertaining to me......enough to read it obviously
But it may just be time for you and wise ways(fatty fat fat) to collab.
Stay up.
Bitches
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