black: this is the type and caliber of verse I've come to expect from you. it's a steady combination of visuals and clever turns of phrase that follows through with a top notch line. I took it as a comment on the unchanging nature of people and communities, and the effect of blurring past and present imagery solidified that for me. the thread of sacrifice and how it's transformed through time was really thought-provoking and insightful. where are the overlaps between the sacrifice of time and emotions that the work-a-day world today and the very real sacrifice of life of yesteryear? it's an interesting question. in any case, I really enjoyed this.
baby: typically, what I like about your writing is both its aloof grotesqueness and piercing humor. this had both of those in spades. that being said, this verse lacked an undercurrent to compete with the insight presented in black's. It's hard to say how you could've done that with this concept - the appeal, of course, was pandering in nature, even though you didn't mention me so fuck you. As always, the rhymes were elastic and deft, making it more fun to read than just about anyone on this site, but unfortunately, and not surprisingly seeing as how you cooked this up last minute, it lacked the substance to get the vote.
vote: black
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You should be water
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