Split:
yes to the red pill. blue saved for later.
if this one's a dud... we'll re-up, take thirds.
she mentioned fear was a step from love to its absence.
tucked in embraces. a peripheral slumbering savage.
^^Loved the opener from you, not the most conventional but I dug it alot.
you run and keep up, but the abyss advances,
scrapes at your heels till you teeter, and glance back,
you swiveled and slammed back on sneakers of canvas,
pupils dilating, lying in pooling arterial damage-
^^Cool.
i hear tonight is the type asteroids might like to devour.
instead of counting the sheep, I'll be biding the hours-
it's showering ash. in the ambulance. it's raining dust.
stay with us, wait, just take a handful of this pumice and scrub.
and take nothing from love. stayed awake for the sun
til the chasm between us swallowed us up.
^^This was slick.
I always believed that sleep is a flash of the phoenix-
in light you're consumed by fangs of the day,
but midnight was long in the teeth, cause
it all seems a dreamscape. an impossible sequence.
i'll talk of your death in a haikuterized philosophical thesis.
^^Dope section....middle part of this was awesome.
one I scrawled by your breathings, till they stalled into vapors,
by the unoperable table the doctors' saw Occam dawn on the razor.
contortions of sinew switched in a vigorous ritual
from living to corpse, like a click of a pistol,
a gritty divorce, from brimming with warmth
to eclipsed by infinity. a shell that's been torched.
^^Probably your best flowin' segment...rolled off the tongue nicely in my head, not sure that made sense lol.
a dose from reality, improperly blotted.
over and over. you're falling unconscious.
over and over. you know how to stop it.
in slumber. and photographs. you seem fine.
you don't exist in this time. but no longer do i.
I'll leave you, to you... / I'm warmed by the Polaroids, / and blind to their truth.
^^Aight on the closer, when it got to 'you seem fine' shit seemed a little abrupt in endin' that line...wasn't really feelin' that part tbh.
Certain:
Cheeks flushed. I've got dirty little secrets tucked away
underneath, crushed.
My humble Venus, something sways,
the trees, brush and leaves gust.
We're on our dune, lust and trust.
Astray. Why do you touch and play?
^^Nice stuff...scheme is slick.
I've got heartburn.
I've got nothing much to say.
I've got so much to do, but gumption fades.
And if you work hard enough,
you, too, will stop giving a fuck someday.
Baritone creaking. Standing sideways on the broken path.
That's about the time I felt the ocean splash.
Ebb and flow. You're playing with my convulsions,
and my hope has passed.
Every joke and laugh exposes throats to chokes and gags,
and I'm already coughing enough as is.
Scoffing. My crutch dragging.
We climbed mountains together.
Mostly you stood on my shoulders and looked out to the heavens.
^^Awesome man...love the content here, wordin' is dope with it.
Chamomile tea, with an ounce of confection.
No, it's too late. I'm burning the world down.
Turning a girl's frown into a permanent mural now.
^^Imagery for days.
Getting my rocks off. Cursively curse the town.
Purging my patience.
And maybe there's another reason to look to the sky when the churches are vacant.
^^And again.
And you? You're nervously pacing.
So take a picture before it all gets turned into pavement,
before tonight is a blur for the vagrants,
before I author my cobblestone opus.
Because I've never looked so pretty,
and you've never bothered to notice.
^^Great closer.
Honestly, you both did your thing...I thought both verses were tight in different ways.I love how Split has that unorthodox style with weird word choices that work, loved the imagery Certain has with more user friendly (so to speak) material...loved Split's wit & diction...but really felt how Certain kept things so compact and easy to read, fuck 'tis hard to decide...there's no bias shit here as I dig both of y'all but I gotta vote for Certain.
If Split disagrees that's cool just disregard this...just wanted to help you guys out with votes in a 'real' way...I thought what you both bought was stellar and praise you both for a dope battle.
Vote - Certain.
Stay uppity peoples.
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