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namix · 01-31-2014, 05:02 PM

I thought this was an interesting read... and while it did not have a lot of conceptual build or really relevance, but to your point, it was a flex --- so I could appreciate it for what it was.

I did think when I saw the title that it was going to have some tremendous depth, the concept of "Father Time's Modernized Broader Mind" was actually a cool topic --- pretty open ended and could have been taken a lot of directions.... but yea, I realize it was most likely named after the first words of a multi you wanted to build off of -- and it was a fitting title as such. lol

the rhythm was clearly the best aspect of it, you had a nice flow throughout -- i liked how you switched up the rhymes then would call back to them, gave it nice structure and reinforced the rhythm to it.

In addition to the rhythm, there were a couple moments of innovative ideas -- that sometimes come easiest by simply thinking of a solid trisyllabic multi or something.

While some of the concepts were too simple, to Objective's point -- there were a couple moments of cool concepts that were born out of coming up with a suitable multi to keep the flow going lol.

for example: "colonize fallen tribes"..... that is actually a really cool concept in my opinion, actually even echoes the idea of a "modernized father time" -- since he can do the impossible, back to the past to bring fallen tribes into the future.

so again, it was a cool/easy read, and even refreshing... in the end, I appreciate the flow enough, and it made me want to write randomness myself, so that always says something ;)

01-31-2014, 05:02 PM	#10
namix been that, done there. Join Date: Jun 2001 Posts: 2,259 Battle Record: 2-1 Accomplishments - OM HOF Rep Power: 85246656	I thought this was an interesting read... and while it did not have a lot of conceptual build or really relevance, but to your point, it was a flex --- so I could appreciate it for what it was. I did think when I saw the title that it was going to have some tremendous depth, the concept of "Father Time's Modernized Broader Mind" was actually a cool topic --- pretty open ended and could have been taken a lot of directions.... but yea, I realize it was most likely named after the first words of a multi you wanted to build off of -- and it was a fitting title as such. lol the rhythm was clearly the best aspect of it, you had a nice flow throughout -- i liked how you switched up the rhymes then would call back to them, gave it nice structure and reinforced the rhythm to it. In addition to the rhythm, there were a couple moments of innovative ideas -- that sometimes come easiest by simply thinking of a solid trisyllabic multi or something. While some of the concepts were too simple, to Objective's point -- there were a couple moments of cool concepts that were born out of coming up with a suitable multi to keep the flow going lol. for example: "colonize fallen tribes"..... that is actually a really cool concept in my opinion, actually even echoes the idea of a "modernized father time" -- since he can do the impossible, back to the past to bring fallen tribes into the future. so again, it was a cool/easy read, and even refreshing... in the end, I appreciate the flow enough, and it made me want to write randomness myself, so that always says something ;) __________________ well fed.