[dead man]

Repeat the pattern. Relapse. Reset the cannon and blast.
Select the penance and pad; present (at least) a semblance of fact,

awesome.

eng - it took me a couple reads before i could really get ahold of your endgame. i am always a fan of your written voice. its a touch pretentious, but not without merit. it says that you have seen, heard, and overthought an entire midlife crisis for yourself at a young age. but you feel so old already. i think this is a point in which you and i intersect on a personal level. your approach felt very autobiographical which usually yields a very interesting verse because to that end, there are limitless possibilities from which to pick and choose. i was not a fan of some of the rhyme choices you presented us with but that is a usual qualm of mine with your work and i always felt it was pretty superficial as far as your intent is concerned. you round the verse out well with a direct reference to love and your relationship with the mysticism and myth of it's presence in your life. it almost resonates with the human condition concept that big baby and zygote tackled in another battle. i do not have the energy at the moment to give a full discourse on my reaction to this verse but i will tell you i found it to be thoughtful and heavy-handed in the best possible manner.

nyc - i am selfishly reminded of similar pieces i have written. the prodigious street urchin is a central archetype i have used in a couple verses. some more autobiographical than others. you purposefully leave a blank space as far as this man's life before his 'rebirth' which i thought was a great way to phrase the state of amnesia. as expected, you give brilliant detail and descriptive nuggets of rhyming expertise such as:

flutters frayed, gray amidst this muted delta of souls
the concrete island - a fountain stream which levels and flows

I just...can't decide whether this world made of clay or of steel."

which serves to propel your concept to the surface of it's own density. i think against almost any opponent this round, you would have secured your victory far-and-away based solely on your attention to minute detail and description of this amnesia-laden PhD with a purpose. however, your lack of the intuitive big-picture content is what sacrificed this match for you imo. there was simply not enough to flesh out this character sketch with enough blood and bone to make it relatable or believable. i think, given a longer line limit or a second draft, you would have secured this battle rather easily. unfortunately, i have always known you as a writer to open your brain and simply let us read what bleeds at face value. it is a charm and this week it was your weakness. i was very much looking forward to our meeting at semi finals old friend.. guess i'll have to catch you next time around.


v/oxus aka INGLES in a very tough decision. like most matches have been this round.


sincerest thanks. love y'all both for what you do.


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