[Pent uP]

Zyg -- When I first read this the thing that bothered me the most about your verse was using a commonly known (at least I thought it was commonly known) parable as your basis. There's two reasons why that bothered me. The first is I've seen people get DQ'd for doing similar things and the second is that it gives your story (if it is truly well known) a more upstanding foundation than someone working from scratch. The writing itself was strong but not up to the level I'm used to from you. I felt like you didn't use the entirety of the topic and that also hindered this piece from being as great as it could have been.

Big baby - the last two lines of the spring and the first several lines for summer - up until the autumn to me/dawsons creek line were just FIRE. The play on "fall" being the fall of the relationship was cute. The ending was nice especially the way you tied in the quote. the whole verse as a package was pretty well thought out and in hindsight the imagery in the beginning was a little overwhelming for what this verse actually was. That's not a bad thing it was just grandiose in a sense - maybe I'm just desensitized to relationship stuff though. No fault of yours and no marks off the verse just an observation. Excellent writing, surprised me to be honest.

Overall - I feel like Zyg fell flat of expectations and I won't be comparing Zyg against himself but there were a few things in his verse that deterred me. BB encapsulated his topic and wrote something that excelled in all fields.

Vote - Big Baby.