[Eŋg]

erik - well it's rare i see you put your ostensible obscurity on the backseat. your work became instantly more accessible. this was a streamline, almost rationed, Vulgar:

Chinese takeout boxes - you know how stakeout cops get
kill a man, earn a stripe, there's always breakout options
Lakehouse auctions - he bought a yacht & the people were glaring

dope. i loved the parenthetical expression, before it, in part because it reminded me of me. sorry? i think i would take pedantic issue with some of the wording, mainly in the last stanza but fuck all that. a very good verse, its character development was something of a whirlwind. left a lasting impression. the intro set up an intrigue, in the main meat of the verse you did a lot to tell your story, to tell of us the character. a bit too quickly? with your ability i would have expected more of a nuanced progression. maybe. definitely some interesting rhetoric embedded in the latter half of the verse. i feel you wrapped it up a bit haphazardly. but i liked it. i liked the overall moral, the nod homeward to the topic, and title. solidus.

splitty - you utilized enjambment in a slightly perplexing way. as in, normally i can see why it's used. i know why i use it. sometimes with you i wasn't sure. seemed almost arbitrary. may have missed something (ok i re-read it and basically your rhyme placement is not obvious. that's pretty cool bro). has a similar feeling about your comment in parenthesis. i felt this piece sort of outlined the futile, hollowness, to an auto-didactic life. kind of hopeless, really. and to that end -- you forged a convincingly solid piece here. the language was at times wispy, other times poised, colouring a larger conceptual cohesion. the exposition here was your strength. i think. i didn't have this that close on first reading. subsequently i have it at a virtual tie. yours took more than a few looks to appreciate.

i have this feeling neither came with a fully concerted effort. but both still put down quality verses. weird. ok so i forgot that i hadn't voted on this. uhm. i give split the edge for a slightly more interesting piece but the edge was no thicker than a single atom. could have swayed either way on a whim.