[PancakeBrah]

Read this quite a few times just to make sure I got the story/characters/message straight. Not to say it was too complicated; it wasn't. But the way you relied on metaphors (which I'll get to later) and your use of pronouns to start the piece just disoriented me a bit. Probably just me. But I eventually got there with this. Now that it's all aligned in my head this was a good piece of writing. I'm not exactly sure of your timeline. In my read through it seemed like one-sitting between the two characters, with the mother being drunk, distressed, and scattershot before finally landing on her point. But I could see how this could be three different conversations; the dog and bird metaphor in the first verse and then the final conversation making up the entire last verse. It works both ways so the difference is a bit academic. From what I understand this is essentially about a mother telling her son that it's time to strike out on his own, while exploring her emotional reaction. The son is really a secondary, almost unimportant character, in terms of the actual meat of the piece even though he's the vehicle for it. Although a quick and cursory reading of this piece would probably give the reader the impression of epicness, or of it being more epic than it really is, this was really a staid verse, but in the best way. You had an idea and you explored it with nuance. Instead of action you instead looked around. Vertical writing instead of horizontal. I think writers here get to caught up in the narrative; this is a narrative but it's about the emotion and characters, with three touchstones (the conversations/metaphors). At first the 'split into vapors' idea confused me, the transition was a bit weird. But the 'mom snapped me out of the picture' clarified it; it was the exploration of the son's fear of leaving the nest, in his imagination, using the metaphor his mother just said. That's how I read it, could be wrong. I think you did paint the mother as a very uneven and unhinged character; 'breath full of toxins' and 'semipsychotic' tell that plainly and some other more subtle bits of wording help support that idea. You also did well in painting the son's confusion. Re-reading this again for feed I guess I was a bit off in saying the son was really secondary; he's fleshed out pretty well.

"I'm focused on atonement and growing when every moment is life changing."

"so I'm stuck praying for prey with nothing but stones."

Both of those lines do a good job of detailing the uneasiness and lack of confidence the son has in being on his own. The second quoted line in particular was good; it was in tune with the animal metaphors you've set up and basically said that the son wasn't prepared for life (real life) because he doesn't have the proper tools to succeed. It can be inferred that this is due to the very mother he's talking to.

""I haven't lived my dreams to this day
but I'm fit to leave and live great once you fix your means to get paid.""

In my reading and re-reading this piece this was, obviously, where it all started to click. You lose the metaphors and start working in the concrete. This also lends itself well to the final line she speaks. Also, the logic behind this sentence gives more nuance and detail to the type of woman the mother is. I'm not sure if you intended for this to be a 'true' statement but I read it as delusional; the mother's basically blaming her son, or family for her own lack of satisfaction with life when in all reality it's probably her fault. Finding an excuse and a reason why everything isn't perfect. Second line speaks to that perfectly. Like I said, I'm not entirely sure if I'm supposed to be viewing this mother character as negatively as I am but the fact you wrote she had a 'breath full of toxins' and the son instinctively imagines her basically drowning him leads to me to believe that's the route you want the reader to take. Could be wrong. Also; 'steadily stranger' adds to that.

""I've fed you more closely than a bird regurgitating.
I've led us to love and humility but you led the flock to crumble;
If feathers were balls you could stand to drop a couple.
It's time I popped your bubble." That got my thoughts to fumble.
My jowls flared as she let out a pule she forgot to muffle.
"You've got to jump off cliffs," she blurted passed her breath,
"and build your wings on the way down."
So I turned my back and left."

I think you nailed the landing. The abrupt ending was great. Some people may have wanted a bit more; an explanation of what happens next for the protagonist. But this was basically a snapshot capturing a critical juncture of a relationship. Anything written after the next line would have been superfluous in my mind.

As for overall mechanics in your verse, I'd lean towards 'strong' but with a few rhymes that were a little off to me. Nothing egregious; it was one or two at the most. The flow was solid throughout; it was aided by the content. I was interested in the narrative so it lead to the piece reading smoothly to me. Your wording was a strong point throughout and the use of vocabulary was strong but never overbearing.

Good piece.