Dead man, there are some one-liners that address the topic well. Enjoyed the ‘history makes emperors famous’ and the ‘academic persuasion mirrors theological strategy’ and the ‘but nothing that can justify or truly explain exists inside a box of preconceptions arranged.’ Each comments on a different aspect of injustice, the overall theme doesn’t seem too cohesive but the strongest theme seems to be in the last line ‘defying all belief in science, every time i fall asleep.’ It is perhaps a reference to inevitable morality as the only ‘law.’ Maybe you picked up on the ‘in the next world’ part of the quote, there was also some comparison to dreams/afterlife (with symbolic features of the doves/birds etc) as an added element.
Witty, perhaps needed a bit more framing, or some overarching framing device. The initial action seems a bit like it takes place within a self-contained vortex, which is OK when going for a kind of fantasy/metaphorical idea, but you went with heavy realism and grounded descriptive techniques. The lack of a definitive frame or time/setting period and realistic language did not mesh too well. I guess you could respond that the concept is universal, and ‘what is just to any individual may be unjust to another. ’ Also there is some allusion to heaven and hell. Actually, reading through it again, the first paragraph may be the earthly death scene, the second is ‘the transportation of the soul or whatever from physical into spiritual’ and the third is punishment in some fiery inferno, apparently because in the fourth it is revealed the main character was a homosexual? This twist ending gives it a bit of rounding out, but it all comes together a bit too suddenly, perhaps needed some more subtle foreshadowing. Now the title makes more sense, especially the specific use of the word ‘what is just to one - man…’ I read it as a comment on the injustice of dogmatic beliefs/tradition/laws against homosexuality, but it was a bit heavy handed. Perhaps you could have been more effective by substituting the hell punishment scene with a different scene about discrimination/injustice on Earth or something. Voting for dead man.
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