Wow man, im impressed. This piece screams experience.. You used a variety of complex schemes and held on to a flawlessly solid form throughout the entire piece. The vocab you used was also very fresh and exciting
"this bar whispers, 'down the hatch' as my scars shiver
i could drink the dead air of this harsh winter
the feeling is fertilizer to this yard's blister
charges litter, it'd turn a passionate heart bitter
too late to start with her, fill my casket with hard liquor
if i black out early, obviously it gets dark quicker
speed racer, i see tracers as the stars flicker "
^ I love that man.. very deep and very fresh. Bravo
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