[Sharp]

Originally Posted by Flo Real

Check


My concepts being used on you such a waste fam*
Your a larger waste of space then your sig of the Mojave waste land
generally want to stay away from sig/avvy flips. They've got to be insanely on to hit, this didnt really do much damage
way you were frontin for this fight I thought, yo who is this dude?
But your a nobody! which is why only 3 people have ever mentioned you
A little statementy. I feel like a mention flip has to be done hard to hit, but the whole nobody concept was good ammo for the battle
He loves playing games - just look at his obsession with fall out
I play wit ya ho an if I do well it's da first letter in ya name she calls out*
R? Are? Arrrrr? I think I used something like that on Ohgee back on NC... The idea's kinda basic, but I'm a fan of it if its done really well. This one kinda confused me
Yo I'm firing on all cylinders son*facing me what you expect bitch,
He's on a *suicide mission shootin himself like his Facebook pics *
I actually thought shooting himself like his facebook pics was a pretty nice idea, could've done with being expnaded on to try to add more of a flip of an idiom like shooting himself in the foot or something... idk. Good idea, coulda benefited from being worked
I'll tie a chain around your neck an strangle you to death
You'll choke! An not cus I'm leavin you*struggling to catch your breath*
feel like this is a little played... but its a good early wp attempt

I know this is old but you do show promise here, you already improved quite a bit as far as wording goes and conceptually you're much farther ahead now. Keep at it.

Originally Posted by RPK

u don't stand a chance with me,I'm fit to teach u a lesson
I'm ensured to kill u first in a battle,Flo...u should know I'm Progressive
I liked the concept a lot, but the excecution didnt hit as hard as it couldve
This fag has no aggression,u won't see this dude murk me
How could he get angry...Rayge wouldn't even show in the Noob Tourney
Pretty nice, but missing a really solid punch part
I'm known for murders,victims get lost in the goryness
I'll leave u deaded when I Run the Blade...call me Oscar Pistorius
ANother punch where it ends being about you, and they can be nice, but most of the time I feel like bars are more effective when they're focused on the hit rather than making one's self appear better
Getting tutored isn't helping,nothing u learned can prepare ya
Its ironic ur tutored by Nik...and u got concepts from his era
Basic but alright. Probably could've been worded a little harder, I'm a fan of 'ironic you ____ because ____' but i guess its preference
U ain't got no dope plays,plus i think ur flow's gay
I don't even need a punchline for this...bitch,u lost to Obey
'no punchline' lines are usually kinda bland, was still some kinda hit. usually I see them as more of a concept that you just decided to state, so its rarely as effective as it could be

You've got concepts and wording, make them connect and you're golden


Nice battle guys, feel like RPK took it comfortably tho

V/ RPK