[Witty]

Originally Posted by Pent uP

Fuck I just lost it all thanks to my phone.

Mrj - I liked what direction you took the verse in but I feel like there were a couple of big things working against this verse. The first is I think u were tryinf to be too lyrical and that did 2 things - it made the read tedious, in this case, and i think it hindered the characterization. The second thing is the verse felt stagnant. I know the verse relied on characterization but it became redundant in spots. Overall the verse went in a positive direction but it fell flat of what it could have been.

Witty -

My bit is gonnneee :(