Just Write, fantastic story telling here up until 3/4 of the way through the verse at which point the way you presented the verse came off very.. offputting. Can't even really describe it but something about the way you presented the details about him being an arsonist seemed corny to me for some reason. Up until that point you progressed the plot wonderfully with a few fickle foreshadowing fiestas from the mother character. Really had me gripped for the most part, ending kinda fell short for me though. Concept could have worked, more of an execution issue. Very ambitious verse though, good stuff.
oats, very crafty angle at the target. Excellent job creating a believable setting for the reader encompassing the finite issues in the characters life. You did a good job aiding the readers ability to relate with him for making the choices he did. Only small complaint, the ending could have been more memorable, it still worked for me but though.
Prognosis, Although JW delivered a piece that captivated almost all the way through, I have had far less to complain about with oats. I felt he took this one with a more consistent and believable spin of the topic.
+1 oats
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