pent- I wasn't quite sure qhat to feel of this piece til the parts at the end. I thisng this was well written, but it didn't feel potent. I think this could have been more concise, thus, more impactful with crisper, tight wording. Overall, I don't know if the topic was uninteresting, or if it was the use of the topic that didn't quite grab me, but is was good for what it was, given the fact that you are solid mechanically. Good job, Overall.
diode- Wow. compared to the AOWL you have really come along in letting loose and showing your capability. This verse was superb, as you stepped your verbage up and told a complete story with no rushes or obvious inconsistencies. This verse, with its "pebble" interjections, was awesome and I'm sure I couldn't tell it better myself. I think that last bit of who the narrator was was a lil much (as I unerstand it), but you killed this piece. Good Job Diode.
Overall, I think you both put in solid work and effort. Both premises were good, but one storyteller was more apt than the other. mechanics aren't much of a factor here, so I was left with what felt like a more complete experience. MVGT Diode.
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Ahem.
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