[Certain]

Nigma: This was awkward. I mean, the first line kind of was supposed to be, but really as a whole this verse was jarring. There were a lot of clunky rhymes, whether they were forced with bad diction or the syllable counts were off or the slant was too strong. That's a bad first step with a style so heavily devoted to rhyme. You seemed like you started to write this without much of a plan for the structure and content because the transition into netceeing was abrupt and didn't really add up from the earlier stuff. The dramatic flow shift in the middle of the verse sort of came out of nowhere. The best way I can describe the experience of reading this verse is "uncomfortable," which simply isn't representative of your better writing. The entire conceit of the verse was mired in cliché, which is strange because you often have very original content.

Frank: On one hand, it's pretty amazing you stretched that rhyme out for that long. I mean, if the words didn't matter outside of the rhyming context, this verse would have been unbelievable. The flow was slippery as hell, and the use of that one rhyme in that many instances is something not many people could pull off while still telling some semblance of a story. But so many of the rhymes were so forced that this was just a really awkward verse. There were flashes that seemed like Kool G Rap in text form, but we have higher standards for diction because there's nothing but words on the screen. The framework for the story was actually pretty cool. The first stanza worked. The second stanza is where the rhymes started to overpower, and by the third it came across as being more about the rhymes than anything else. They really cut into the character and plot development here in a way that's uncharacteristic for you. Still, I found myself enjoying your verse, even if largely for the cadence, more than Nigma's.

Vote: Frank

These might be the worst verses I've read by either of you. You're both legitimate threats to win this thing, so I hope whoever comes out of this scrapheap alive puts more time and effort into future verses.