trap - more interesting on the first read than any other. it's basically a dramatic monologue and to that end it doesn't actually need overt characterization if it still absorbs, as long as it speaks, and it did. this is easily the smoothest entry i've read (so far). by no means flawless, though, i didn't like 'despite thee' and i thought the brio it began with faded a little around the middle, but was drawn back and held down before the end. it was an interesting extended metaphor that held my attention -- made all the more impressive by the fact i thought your actual, unraveled, topic was wack. or i've seen it before, at least.
copy - lol. you could not have attacked this more differently. predictably you boast a stronger flow for the reader. i think your lines that hinted at a greater commentary were your strongest and most interesting -- would've preferred you expand on those than mercilessly setup the next rhyme, but that's your formative style. it seems to work. this writing was conscious, but not piercing. a strange complaint. it's not how i'd imagine you'd embody Gaea. i guess that's the point. all in all, a good verse which is what i expected.
v/trap
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