[Eŋg]

pent -- this was pretty solid. although i felt the composition was at times stilted. oddly placed adjectives and other things. in truth i have not read you in a while and this didn't exactly boast the mechanics... i would expect from you? couple uncharacteristic missteps. generally sewed your writing together well enough, though. i don't feel like this was a top-shelf effort but probably deemed sufficient. the not so subtle nuance about the general's moustache and milking the cows/stuff like that showed cool attentions to detail. korova milk bar. lol.

led - the delivery was crisper, very lineal, consumable storytelling. the polysyllables after 'his name was Hassan' kinda just felt awkward. suggesting the character is 'now pragmatic' after emphatically praising Allah seems incongruous?

the antagonist, alone, answered anemically to "Ali"
a noble nomenclature he found repugnant, unsuited for he
who climbed the caste ladder from the lowest of rungs
to become the next Apollo, likewise, too close to sun

the wording is horrible on the second line. the latter couplet evokes imagery of Daedalus, not sure how a sun-god would be 'too close'. there's more than a few instances of unnatural wording imo. with your obviously less rhyme-centric writing (in an arena effectively dominated by rhyme-centric poetry (commendable, btw)) you should hone the remaining aspects meticulously. you didn't. i still think this was good writing with a palpable, self-contained, story. just read a bit off. the theme of the pebble and the loose reprise was a nice touch. could have complimented a stronger piece more effectively.

v/pent