Netcees - View Single Post - ROUND ONE: (14)Split Eight vs. (19)Veritas - (SPLIT EIGHT WINS 5-2)

Pent uP · 01-18-2014, 06:27 PM

Split - Dope verse, imagery was top notch, wording was top notch. Didn't really know what I expected from you but I liked it. I cringed when I saw the non-rhyming intro but I let it slide. it's always been my opinion the only thing that doesnt have to rhyme with everything else is the title, other then that its part of the verse and it has to count as both the lines and the structure etc of what I'm reading. I liked the perspective you gave though. IDK not much to say about this - thats a compliment in itself.

Veritas -- Man that hells gate line sparked a dope metaphor/analogy in my head and I thought to myself how cool it would be to compare strippers and tigers in the wild VS in the club...thanks for that hahah. The ending was cool but pretty forseeable. I didn't like the rapid-change imagery that your verse relied on. I also felt you focused on the negative too much and it crafted your verse into something easier to tackle. I think just focusing on a stripper the whole time would've benefited you (lol im kidding and serious at tthe same time).

Overall -- I think veritas had a simpler verse, and a verse that was easier to write in all categories. I also didn't like vertias' long ass lines. I think Split had a beautifully crafted verse, even for how simple it was in itself, the writing made it seem excellent (rather, made it excellent). Not much else to say

vote -split 8

01-18-2014, 06:27 PM	#8
Pent uP Robin Williams of Fallen Victims Join Date: Feb 2013 Posts: 1,499 Battle Record: 25-11 Accomplishments - NC Hall of Fame Champed - Netcees Writers League (2x) - NWL Season 1 - Write Night I - Art of Writing League (2x) - Write Week IV Rep Power: 6862275	Split - Dope verse, imagery was top notch, wording was top notch. Didn't really know what I expected from you but I liked it. I cringed when I saw the non-rhyming intro but I let it slide. it's always been my opinion the only thing that doesnt have to rhyme with everything else is the title, other then that its part of the verse and it has to count as both the lines and the structure etc of what I'm reading. I liked the perspective you gave though. IDK not much to say about this - thats a compliment in itself. Veritas -- Man that hells gate line sparked a dope metaphor/analogy in my head and I thought to myself how cool it would be to compare strippers and tigers in the wild VS in the club...thanks for that hahah. The ending was cool but pretty forseeable. I didn't like the rapid-change imagery that your verse relied on. I also felt you focused on the negative too much and it crafted your verse into something easier to tackle. I think just focusing on a stripper the whole time would've benefited you (lol im kidding and serious at tthe same time). Overall -- I think veritas had a simpler verse, and a verse that was easier to write in all categories. I also didn't like vertias' long ass lines. I think Split had a beautifully crafted verse, even for how simple it was in itself, the writing made it seem excellent (rather, made it excellent). Not much else to say vote -split 8 Last edited by Pent uP; 01-18-2014 at 06:36 PM.