[Wise Wiggles]

Ok so I've read each of these pieces multiple times just to make sure I soaked in everything. I felt JW's story was pretty deep but there were holes and drawbacks to it. I thought that many of his lines could have been reworded to present the flow and maintain it better. Some of the word choice as well I noticed could have been improved upon. Now as for it relating to the picture I felt you could have done slightly better as well. Idk. I'm going to say I didn't really favor either of your approaches really. I myself would have done a chaos/anarchy/revolution type deal but that's neither here nor there. I don't know why the dad walked back to the jeep. He didn't see the flames? Didn't see his son running away? I mean a couple things didn't add up. I can see how a teacher would know of what happened though. Mom keeping it secret. Teacher spills beans. With a few slight adjustments and some deeper focus on the rhymes/rhyme-scheme I think this would have been awesome. But with some minor holes and other things I left it wanting a little more. Now on to oatmeal's shindig. He came at this a little more what I had in mind. He brought focus to his struggling family and The offer (which was a little extreme). 500 & sandwich for planting? 1000 total for suicide bombing.. The flow and rhyme scheme is what set this apart from Just's story. But oats was more concise and technical and less bumpy which imo counts for a lot. So with the overall deepness between the pieces I believe JW, was on top with that but every other element went to oats, therefore I have to give it to him on the things stated above. Hard to choose, but a good, different, interesting battle fellas.