[Certain]

Mr. J: This was one of the two best verses I've read from you, along with your verse against me. And this was much more streamlined than that. You really captured the mind of a soldier perfectly here and developed your character thoroughly. The emotion really pours out of your words when you hit your stride like this, and after so many abstract verses toward the end of the Art of Writing League season, I am glad to see you found this groove. The take on the topic was extremely simple, and the content here was mostly one-dimensional. But the writing and mechanics were so silky smooth that this 46-line verse (perhaps the longest I've seen from you) never once felt drawn out. Our standards for these battles leans heavily on creativity and content, which weren't the strengths here. You draw from your writing ability alone, which is part of what allows you to be so damn productive at times in the Open Mic forum and what makes everything you write, even the more disconnected and raw verses, so interesting to me.

Witty: I haven't read much by you, but the rhyming here was clearly the standout. Your diction is a bit generic, but you're rhyming so much that it's impressive that you only force occasionally. Still, this verse felt generic and unfocused. There was nothing about it that connected with the photo other than the idea of a soldier. The photo wasn't even taken at night, which was a major point in the little bit of a story you developed. You couldn't decide whether to philosophize about war or tell the story of a soldier, so you sort of did neither but definitely leaned toward the former. While Mr. J gave us the raw emotion of a crying soldier, you offered us a generalist look at war with hints of a single soldier's pursuit. It never connected emotionally with me. You obviously have a lot of skill, but a more refined approach was required here.

Vote: Mr. J