[oats]

Vulgar:

This was a finely-crafted, well-conceived, and undeniably entertaining verse. There's a fresh worldliness that permeates it, and it touched upon very real problems facing the African continent - geography, arbitrary borders, lack of resources, systemic corruption, etc. Definitely an accurate representation of the dizzying complexities that are Africa's problems.

But what really struck a chord with me was the characterization of a parentless continent, meeting a (non-threatening) dictatorship as its mother. This provokes a great deal of thought. Is that a reliable description? If it is, is it a more ideal parental candidate than say the democratic republic father? The effect of this was that, while maintaining an almost humorous tone, the end was so bittersweet. I really didn't know how to feel - happy that it has a mother? Sad because it's probably an abusive mother? Should I sympathize for the very real danger that Africa is in a constant state of, or stick my nose up and laugh at it alongside everyone else? I don't know if this is making sense to you, but that's what this verse did to me. I really, really loved it, definitely stands out to me as one of my favorite pieces from you. I haven't read Innovator's verse yet, but he's got a tall task in front of him.

Innovator:

This was an excellent verse for what it was. That is, this was pretty much a character sketch, and the descriptions you provided were very solid all the way through, with a handful of knockout lines as well (marred within the brush strokes of victims scars comes to mind). I think you captured the inner-conflict that these men must go through - it's a tug o war between their self-preservation instincts and their sleep-deprived moral compasses. But you painted a beauty into the tragedy, and skillfully so.

My qualm with this verse is that it didn't attempt more. As a sketch, it was brilliant, but you can do so much more with it! If you were to weave a narrative into the descriptions, this would be a near flawless verse where I would be nitpicking for something unsavory. As it is, it just screams to be more developed.


Vote: Though Innovator surprised me here, gotta give it to Vulgar. He was firing on all cylinders, and while Innovator's verse was the equal to Vulgar's in some ways, it was overall outdone. Great battle though, probably my favorite I've read so far.