[big baby]

I hate this stupid shit. I had a long post dedicated to breaking down the verse. Basically, in summation (i'll make particularly not so much of a summary)

Lars came with a decent, straight to the point, typical pov. The pop culture references really turned me off, I don't know why. It had sort of a vibe to them, that struck me as 'battle'. Although it's a 'battle' it's not really a 'battle'. Those alone were the only faults to his verse, although; they tied in nicely. I just didn't appreciate them to the fullest. The piece read more of a narrative linear cascading notion. The mechanics were cool, but at some points I hoped he expanded on certain elements. (i.e control, content, syllables in atleast 1 or 2 lines) though the syllables, arent really a big stress here. A perfectly simple verse with a constant strain on development of the issue. This was big, as Objective also had this constant. The use of cleverly tied in mechanics was something you'd know I'd probably enjoy. The first half had me saying 'yeah lars, is going for a nice, clean cut finish stripping venison from bone'.

Objective, very good. I haven't really seen something like this from you, you stressed a good issue here. The topic was cool, although not my cup of tea. Topicals generally aren't. But you sure came out swinging. The top to middle half of your verse was stellar and I enjoyed it. I actually read it without rolling my eyes. This was great, as I read I know I'd have to re-read both verses just to come with a clear winner, and this by far wasn't an easy battle to judge. You had a storyline, unique one at that, and although you didn't totally convey a sense of accomplishment in the stories premise; it was cool. It read clean, your mechanics were cool, nothing special, but way more than what I expected from reading some of your stuff. I feel what you tried to administer was a bitttt to vast for a maximum of 48 lines. The number you posted in the beginning, I thought was going to be ultimately coupled in with the ending to a story, which wouldve nailed it completely for you; seriously. Something clever along those lines will always make a reader be wowed, even if the writing isn't as particularly as sharp as the reader could have read. Don't get me wrong - your writing is good, but there are places I see could be reinforced to really make you that next tier. Lars words and writes a bit better, but what separates you isn't really skill level in that department, it's consistency. Lars got straight to the point, even with what I would call 'a ok' verse. The verse, had great lines, and great mechanics. Something I could appreciate it on a higher level, the storyline, though i don't really care for them most of them, was alright, and cliche. Yours, a bit more futuristic in its essence, was a bit refreshing. Just wish you had that next gear, so you could really just blow stuff out the water. That extra gear is hard to achieve, and neither your opponent who shows a bit more class in demonstrating - has achieved that really wowing effect. Though, both of you wow'ed me in a sense here. Seriously speaking. I usually hold an individual standard, and if you don't break it, you don't impress me. Lars came with a different light here, and I hold him to a different standard now. Objective just came, better than I'd ever seen, and I hope you keep writing to expand yourself.

I have this one by a hair, but sometimes, being too vast and complicated (franks AOWL verse for example) can usually hurt you in the end, compared to a simple consistent verse (pancakes verse in the AOWL). Anyway, I hate to cast votes in such close winded battles, but my vote goes out to lars.

thanks guys. Good luck