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Old 01-15-2014, 12:36 PM   #12
Vulgar
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Join Date: Jan 2013
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Frank:

Pretty sick, Frank. Throughout the read, I got the sensation that you were struggling to say something profound. All of the general terms were listed in the beginning, branches of a bigger Bahrain tree, that the reader is supposed to take note of as the collective anatomy of a large and encompassing statement. What I found was that it was a narrator who was making predictions about the future and trying to figure out humanity's place in it. A hidden quasar of social commentary as told by Zygote's half-brother. The way you told the story was excellent. I followed the body of ideas fluently through to the end, even if the beginning was a little jam-packed with quantitative elements.

"Handling heavy subjects with subtle indifference, comfy on cloud 9’s puffy umbilicus"
^This is my kind of line, lol. Nice.

"Mobile Global Escape - Spiritual Growth into Space
They talk their way through feelings instead of encountering the emotional weight."
^Ill. This shows a great grasp of the topic.

PancakeBrah - Impressive. Your disdain for conspiracy theorists shined in this one which was the desired effect. Well written as heck. It was about the irony of "truth seekers" accusing everyone else of being asleep/sheeple/being in the dark when their ingestion of the "red pill" actually sends them into a state of blissful ignorance as well. This of course is because you liken the information the main character is receiving as "poison" which is a substance that can have fatal implications on the human biological system. In fact, this could be the "soma" of the internet age, referencing Aldous Huxley's Brave New World, a pleasing yet ultimately incapacitating substance. This was a spot on interpretation, and I'm sure there are people out there who can relate to this verse. Thankfully, I'm immune. :)

My vote goes to CakeBrah.

Frank did his thing lyrically and he interpreted the topic with a kind of sloppy finesse. Cake had more articulation to his swing. I vibed with it more as a whole.

Nice work gents.
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