Frank, reminded of Jung’s collective consciousness stuff mixed with a bit of the Asimov Multivac story (especially the uploading all minds into one hyperspace part). Some cool poetic things like the 3 sentences beginning with 'Light on.' I'm pretty biased towards science-fiction topics. This part was the best - "Soul catcher - overlooking vast regions of rain forest depleted -
Regions of existing countries will break away and become independent
Freedom, only a small percentage of us will choose to "keep" our bodies
Preferring instead to transfer our minds into circuit boards and attain immortality" the first part talking about the degeneration of Earth would have been a good area to focus on even more so, kind of a counterpoint to the futuristic stuff, just to keep things grounded, give it more of an emotional connection to establish on a personal level. As it stands, a little bit alienating with all the jargon, but it's still really good. Actually read it twice in a row before reading the opposing submission.
PancakeBrah, liked the Jim Jones/David Koresh storyline in a modern setting. The tragic/funny interplay of the "freethinker" being brainwashed was a great approach too. Good pacing, just arriving at the right moment to the Reverend character. Also enjoyed how precise that character was with language. It was assertive with all the new-age religious spirituality buzzwords. Perhaps only one thing was a little disappointing. The main character served well as a stereotype/caricature of the foolish behavior you were trying to display, but I still felt it was maybe a bit one-dimensional. Just a hint of self-doubt or last second regret may have been good too, but then again, the amount of time the main character spent being indoctrinated wasn't specified, so maybe that emotion is unrealistic. Good contest and submissions from both, voting for PancakeBrah.
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