Thread: The Last Of Us
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Old 01-09-2014, 12:36 PM   #3
Boredom
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Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Vancouver, BC
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Just Write View Post
demise and deception, a rise of inception
decline in the mind of the giants that tempt it

^^^ill.

his was good, i felt like it maybe was too structured though if you get what im saying.. like it was dat-dat-dat-dat-dat.... dat-dat-dat-dat-dat. Basically got boring after afew lines. Now on the middle italicized part that was a lot less multi's but content filled and just came out a little smoother which made it my favorite part of the piece. Last verse was fire too. Peace bro
word, i'll try not to go so scheme/multi heavy on the next piece I write.

thanks for the feed. upping for more, drop a link and I will rtf in an OM of yours.
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