contour a recollection. trace a border between
war and serene. river gorges and streams, endorphins and dreams
i don't like the word contour as a verb but this was a cool opening. very casual.
let the world disagree once their madness corrupts
very well.
speakers amplified to tell us we're not happy enough
people underestimate aural potency.
advertisement, adversarial, i've cancelled the plug
ate a box of nails for breakfast and a sandwich for lunch
enjoyed the play on words firstly. sentiment was good. the eating seems a bit incongruous to me; i thought the metaphor might extend but it sank back to be literal.
addicted to the disarray. my habit is dust
mouth breathing heavy after sweeping it up
wouldn't you not sweep up your dust if addicted to the disarray? lol. i didn't take this bar literally, anyway.
media frequency jump impermanent like passionate lust
his thoughts darkening. moving towards the back of the bus
harriet tubman ass rosa parking, nigga. media frequency thing was dope but sometimes your similes are lazy (it's probably that i don't use them (well)).
vampire sluts and servitude. the power is near
the hour is nigh, our Auschwitz appears as towers and tiers
bold was superb.
suits and a tie, cowards in line to order a beer
Orwellian the telephones. unimportant careers
i can't queue for a bus, let alone a drink. big brother's always watching: 1984 +1
louder than clear, static megaphones in velvet apartments
metal in your cerebellum, lead in your carcass
deadman, enters to harness your repression and darkness
write your pain, let it resonate, then measure respondents
swagger. feeling that last line though.
veritas plus barry bonds plus whatchamacallit
bat shit crazy. strangely there's this sudden catharsis
@
The Mind Assassin
i've felt for the beach. fields and open spaces sunny and blue
but romanticizing nature doesn't cut it for you
sat by and smoked her cyanide. huffing her glue
then hummed myself a tune til our discussion was through
saw her clearest on a stormy night. the 2nd of June
that all seemed kind of causal and melancholic.
a thunderbolt's growl behind affectioning croons
scratched a scab open. sang the leprosy blues
colliding in your Camry. our vehicular muse.
cute opposition in the first line. do you use the blues as a recurring theme? cortisol blues. i remember. you're from chi-town, i think, that probably explains it.
midnight mascara and rouge. cocaine whiskey and wine
salt and pepper - cloth and leather - lemon and lime
ambient shine. pupils dilate. now it's Ambien time
beg your pardon please.. this disconnect's a habit of mine
probably the segment that best rolls off the tongue. last line -- felt like you momentarily forgot yourself to break out of a inner monologue, which would be very fitting for its content.
pictures phrases quotes and concepts twisted to bend
i see that...
into visions you read. concrete consistency like liquid cement
...line before this was dope (could have followed it up better).
no dimes and nickels to spend, it's rhymes and rhythms instead
the devil was a capricorn and Winter is death.
pen and pad currency would be interesting. pagan devil > ram horns > goat > capricorn > zodiac > astrologically correlates with a winter term. our winters, at least. if there's more beyond that line i don't see it. came out of left-field a bit but felt like a necessary obscurity to close the piece.
enjoyed the read man. felt a bit like a warm-up from you because it didn't boast the usual polish i normally see and expect -- but in that sense i might have liked it more. this was long overdue from me and i probably owe you on some more, i lost count. thanks for peeping my recent shitl; your feed on my last drop was encouraging.
btw natural i've nearly always offered black at least one critical comment any time i've ever fed him over the years. i'm good like that.