Quote:
Originally Posted by Natural
Yeah. You have a wide vocabulary or like to appear to have one. Perhaps you love rhyming dictionarys...perhaps you hate them(or want to appear to hate them).
You have a fan base on netcees....which is probably because you can actually write well..
But I think you use that to your advantage and are able to put together these sporadic pieces and still get props for it(when most ppl wouldn't).
Somehow your stature on netcees gets you a free to do whatever you want pass...
And I'm not a huge fan of it because there is plenty of writers that I've seem write at your level and beyond and not gotten the same credit.
I'm not sure I've ever seen anyone point out a negative in your writing.
Either your perfect or they suck fat Dick.
But why? Oh well guess its an unsolved mystery.
You can write and your rhyme ability is pretty grand....
But I think you half ass a lot of your writing and do it knowing your work will be praised anyway.
I think your talent would be better used in a fully coherent piece.
Though I'm sure you or your fan base will argue your writing is perfectly coherent
Oh well.
Its not about them. Its about my opinion.
At the end of the day you can shrug my opinion off and proceed to write
this shit...if you want
Or you can actually try
And write a coherent polished piece of art and give real reason for as much praise as you get
Peace
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I disagree. I think Black's vocabulary is anything but rhyming dictionary. Every word used makes sense in the context, by my count.
You can, and should, elaborate on negatives in other people's writings, regardless of stature.
If it's not fair for writers to downplay your friends' writing because of Black's reputation, then on that basis it's certainly not fair to downplay Black's writing because of your friends' lack of reputations. In other words, writing should either be judged objectively in terms of other writing- or not judged at all.
Imo, most people do not critique dead man on drops like this (don't judge at all), because his polished/ directed pieces usually end up as HoF or place him as season champ of a writing league. Time would be better spent for both Black and his critics if they analyzed writing that was executed to its fullest.
But yo. At the same time, v. good writers still have glimpses of excellence in freewrites, warm-ups, keys... I don't think u should ignore that bc NYCSPOTORO called you a faggot.
I think the OM would be a better place if we made an effort to read and comment on every writer (not every drop) and learn something from them, and give them something to think about.
I mean, you are of course entitled to your opinion. In summary tho, I think you are just not giving Black a fair shot out of spite/ your opinion is objectively wrong.
I also think you should reevaluate your definition of "coherent".
No hate. I still mean to return feed I owe you from way back. Just my $0.02
Quote:
Originally Posted by dead man
yo
contour a recollection. trace a border between
war and serene. river gorges and streams, endorphins and dreams
>> I'm a fan of how you begin your verses. Really enjoyed the conceptual symmetry between sketching the outlines of a memory and creating a barrier between what it is/ is not... and the soft and solid divisions between entities in the framework of our world and our mind.
This much depth to a concept might be artificial on my end, but it speaks to your proficiency as a writer that you can elicit a response that resonates in such a well-defined way. The pairs you compare echo the finer points of tracing a recollection.
War and serene. So many fractalized divisions between people, societies, and the current state and the past when in a state of war.
Gorges and streams act as borders themselves, physically (maps) and metaphysically (both cut the same path but are of a different nature).
Endorphins and dreams. This, to me, speaks to the differences between conscious/ subconscious in forming thoughts and ideas. The different textures on our mental map.
advertisement, adversarial, i've cancelled the plug
ate a box of nails for breakfast and a sandwich for lunch
addicted to the disarray. my habit is dust
mouth breathing heavy after sweeping it up
>> great way to introduce dissonance, as well as a further defining quality (addiction to the absurdity of life) that keeps it far from cliche.
media frequency jump impermanent like passionate lust
>>fantastic wording
colliding in your Camry. our vehicular muse.
midnight mascara and rouge. cocaine whiskey and wine
salt and pepper - cloth and leather - lemon and lime
ambient shine. pupils dilate. now it's Ambien time
beg your pardon please.. this disconnect's a habit of mine
pictures phrases quotes and concepts twisted to bend
into visions you read. concrete consistency like liquid cement
no dimes and nickels to spend, it's rhymes and rhythms instead
the devil was a capricorn and Winter is death.
>> liked wordplay of first line, lot of truth to that idea. lol women.
the rest of this seemed like the basis for your title. Enjoyed the connections, they personalized the rest of the drop.
I have a poverty knowledge of philosophy and logic.
Last line, i dont understand it but i want to think about it a lot. quotable.
- Edd Anam
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Overall, I would say this leaned more towards a warm-up for the Winter Tournament. But at the same time your ideas coalesced on a sophisticated level whether by chance, intent, or intuition. This was anything but unapproachable or lazy.
good shit Black. Keep keyin