Netcees - View Single Post - Phuck Vs Lotto

Simon SeversTons · 01-06-2014, 10:32 AM

My conclusion:

Lotto Smirk - The opener was not good, you needed a different approach. Nothing here awed me. The second liner was a missed the opponent, suppose to have a attack. This was another fail. Feels like filler to me. Focus on the opponent. Your 3rd liner got a nod from me, much better than your last two lines. I get your point in your 4th line, but you couldve retwritten the line and put more depth into it wouldve came out a better result... still a hit for me, not impactful though. Now, your fifth line wasnt a good one, felt like it shouldnt had been there. Nice verse, btw.

Phuck Yew - Your opener was decent, nothing much that was ehh. Your second line is alright, couldve rewrote it to make it sound witty or clever and impactful. Your 3rd line was a bit better, your setups on the otherhand, needs major work... your setups are sloppy, definitely need to work on that. Your 4th line seems to came up short and a miss for me, couldve replaced that liner with another better line. Finally, your final liner was really forced and played out... that was not a good line, period. Needed to be thought out more, but this verse was decent. Both did well in this battle.

MVGT: Phuck Yew

01-06-2014, 10:32 AM	#17
Simon SeversTons Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2013 Posts: 238 Battle Record: 1-2 Rep Power: 0	My conclusion: Lotto Smirk - The opener was not good, you needed a different approach. Nothing here awed me. The second liner was a missed the opponent, suppose to have a attack. This was another fail. Feels like filler to me. Focus on the opponent. Your 3rd liner got a nod from me, much better than your last two lines. I get your point in your 4th line, but you couldve retwritten the line and put more depth into it wouldve came out a better result... still a hit for me, not impactful though. Now, your fifth line wasnt a good one, felt like it shouldnt had been there. Nice verse, btw. Phuck Yew - Your opener was decent, nothing much that was ehh. Your second line is alright, couldve rewrote it to make it sound witty or clever and impactful. Your 3rd line was a bit better, your setups on the otherhand, needs major work... your setups are sloppy, definitely need to work on that. Your 4th line seems to came up short and a miss for me, couldve replaced that liner with another better line. Finally, your final liner was really forced and played out... that was not a good line, period. Needed to be thought out more, but this verse was decent. Both did well in this battle. MVGT: Phuck Yew Last edited by Simon SeversTons; 01-06-2014 at 10:41 AM.