Netcees - View Single Post - Fold under pressure when all eyes are on me during my origami performance

CopyPat · 01-04-2014, 04:16 PM

not 10/10 or 8/10. u have Obviously had MUCH better work than this

CLockwork Orgy and Yo mommas so fat > this piece....by ALOT.

There were still lots of good elements but as a whole it just didn't come together.
normally i seriously cannot get enough of ur writing. but something felt off about this one. not sure what. was just a little too random or something idunno. either that or there wasn't enough real good rhyming to make up for the randomness.. where usually ur scheming is off the charts this wasn't quite as intense. the first paragraph was the best one for me, and then it kinda went off the rails a little. i think it was just a tad forced, u know?

anyways u know i love u and i want to see MUCH MUCH more from u but this one was a minor blip on ur radar as far as im concerned

01-04-2014, 04:16 PM	#8
CopyPat Mic Check Join Date: Mar 2013 Location: Calgary Alberta Canada Posts: 708 Battle Record: 13-10 Rep Power: 3742225	not 10/10 or 8/10. u have Obviously had MUCH better work than this CLockwork Orgy and Yo mommas so fat > this piece....by ALOT. There were still lots of good elements but as a whole it just didn't come together. normally i seriously cannot get enough of ur writing. but something felt off about this one. not sure what. was just a little too random or something idunno. either that or there wasn't enough real good rhyming to make up for the randomness.. where usually ur scheming is off the charts this wasn't quite as intense. the first paragraph was the best one for me, and then it kinda went off the rails a little. i think it was just a tad forced, u know? anyways u know i love u and i want to see MUCH MUCH more from u but this one was a minor blip on ur radar as far as im concerned __________________ My syllable count approximately a billion, bounce. You cannot compete.