Small disorder, Rip off your arm supporters in-front of all New Yorkers.
Yeah you’re haunting, It’s the colossus martyr the cathartic nerd.
On the surface I’m a god, you’re a Marxist merchant target turban carpet curtain amorphous virgin.
I’m full of gloss, even a rainbow is jealous. Shooting arrows, in Venice, Use any fair of weapons to shoot at you.
A head of lettuce, or barrels, a load of melons, It’s over, gave Jay-z the okay to use Rihanna’s umbrella.
Hey, hey. (echo) On my sailboat, perfection, Hit you with elbows in pelvis.
I'm Elvis playin techno, the psycho seto-psychic Plato, A felon, Fellatio.
Don't mention that yellow railroad, so zealous, cover and drape you in deli meat.
Hey, I demand it, spray mayo on you & make YOU a sandwich.
Empirical drunk ass, take a bite out of your skull, Call NATO from contacts.
Recommend them to wear a raincoat to shield from the bloodbath.
I made an attempt to structure this some. The first stand out thing to me about this is the lack of structure and uneven lines.
Your rhyming ability is there but it's so sporadic and out there
I don't think this would resonate real with most emcee's.
In the text realm even...in my opinion...this is nothing more than good rhyming practice.
Even if there is a dope reference or two its just too sporadic too be considered
top notch in my opinion.
I know a lot of last here dig this sort of thing....so to each his/her own
If it floats ya boat do you...
But I'm not about to run with the crowd and front like I thought this was fire.
Monstrous slaughtering constant consciousness slobbering
↑ see I can do that too....doesn't make me dope.
Though good rhyming prowess.
My advice to you would be to toss out the paragraph form and really let that rhyming ability shine by producing a cohesive drop beginning to end.
One thing I did enjoy though to give you a positive is the fact you seem to enjoy pushing ya rhymes to the limit and beyond...
That's a good habit to have....but some structure and presentability would help.
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