Dead - Black - First off let me start with...thank god for a dictionary...I actually only used it a few times but used it I did...I'm going to point out a few things I didn't like...
discourses explain: we've covered wisdom's source with a brain
...
we've played telephone with knowledge. only whispers and time
will determine how much Truth inside that message survives
The first line I know makes sense, but it just reads weird to me...I also realize it's relevant towards your use of the topic but IDK, just reads weird...The second Bar the flow just completely broke off from the rest of the verse. I really don't like when someone breaks a line into TWO bars whether for rhymes sake or not, it just disrupts the flow 93% of the time. OK...
I loved your use of the topic, I don't know that I could pull this particular topic off with a decent concept without dumbing everything down...You did the opposite, flow other then what I mentioned was legit...Actually you faltered after said bar, almost like the flow changed entirely. Great read though, packed with thought and great metaphor.
Pent - you hit the topic nicely...Imagery blew me away as usual, but this was different...A model who walks all over others, given anything she wants in life and is beautiful...head by his feet was vivid to me, the entire crash was clear as day and visualized "Fresh" Mag, intestines her face...The topic was covered by her no realizing the facade she's created of others, going from not acknowledging others unless she gains to valuing each life after she took one.
vote - This is a very, very close battle. You guys took opposite routes, Black going philosophical having me peer into many questions of life, while Pent went pure visual. To me you both hit topic equally, both flowed well, Pent a bit better do to less slip ups, but while his was more simple Black made me ponder many things and left it open for my interpretation. But in the end....I simply enjoyed the visual affects more in this bout...Very close, and if I'm being honest what did you in black is, what I consider the slip in flow, otherwise this was yours to lose.
Good shit kidos v-Pohfig
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