first off im gunna laugh if vivid turns out to be frank and that bastard did it two seasons in a row.. just sayin
Lust; the crust on the cusp of this affair.
Her bust... to touch was a must to declair.
Every portion's proportion, each morsel of flair
Supported the endorsement of this temptress so fair.
She aborted the coarseness of care,
For it was more for reward of the fare; this visit.
A dare to dismiss it, but this priss was presented permissive.
She invited me to her soul, and where I'd be remiss, I couldn't resist it.
this was such a buttery opening, loved the way you started this. besides maybe the fourth couplet this was my favorite
She could be here with me! Her and all her blemishing oils,
Meek and blanching palette, features of mediterranean royals,
Bludgeoned sternum, rashed knees and elbows, and foot burns made boils.
He 'loved' her to death, but her inaminate allure brought me to life.
In each examining breath, I grew more adamant to know of the whys.
this was also just silkysmooth and not an easy thing to do while trying to keep the content you were going with. the first line especially was just awesome
the rest of your piece almost seemed rushed, like you were out of time and didn't know exactly how to end it. idk, it just didnt carry the same cadence as the rest of it to me. and the black mamba part made me think basketball. just didnt sit right with the rest of this beautiful piece to me.
frank,
-He also loved playing games on his computer; obsessive, euphoric,
When World of Warcraft was coming out in a beta version he signed up like 200 times to be a beta tester for it.
If you were picked, you got a number and could go to the site and download it.
Well, Dusty signed up so many times he received 2 numbers and sold it.
“For 375.00 dollars” – he said - gloating with pride
You couldn’t wipe his smile off with Castile soap if you tried.
i actually didnt like your beginning, it felt just lackadaisical in places but really picked up starting here, loved this part
I liked building computers. Occasionally I started building a new one.
I also was working on some of my older computers; sitting in ruins
They were full of dust. Finger tips; Air borne - Gripping pollution
So, on one of my trips to the computer store, I bought a 3 pack of DUST OFF -
Refrigerant coolant
lol, so i'm feeding this as i read it but i can only imagine what happens, next.. and remind me to post this picture of this woman addicted to dust off, trippy ass fucking shit
:( damn,thats fucked up.. you didn't have to kill lil' homie dog. put that kid in the hospital or sumn.. fuuuck!
this was definitely a high caliber battle. vivid came with a very poetic read that just spoke that language of a seasoned writer while frank came more direct and tugged on that emotional value. i really enjoyed both pieces but i do think frank is the favorite of this one. absolutely great battle fellas. vote=Frank
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