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Old 01-02-2014, 12:22 PM   #6
jdeek
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Join Date: Jan 2014
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that's poison is potent...i read it a couple times and can't really get it...i think it could've been worded different. just wanted to get that out of the way..

that aside...you pulled off a lot in a somewhat short piece. cool imagery with the oven and scent of grilled onion lines...lol. thought it was gonna be one of those overly poetic love pieces from the beginning, but i like how you switched it up and finished it. well played, and good drop. props
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