Inno -- This was an interesting read. The ending bit reminded me a little of geno's concept - thought that was funny. The way you spread your rhymes out made the read very natural and easy, however, the way you spread your bars felt out of touch with the subject of the verse. Usually shorter bars are more..whimsical? This felt more...wistful? whats with the W's? and alliterations? lol sorry. So yeah - I felt the format was counterproductive to your actual content. The content was a little over-saturated with negatives and under-nourished by imagery for my liking. It was a cool verse, but I couldnt really pin it to the topic.
Mike -- haha, man that was a dope. I love verses about time...its something I've dwelled on many a time...hah. nah there were lines that were perfect setups and I was reading like PLEASE TAKE THIS TOWARDS THE CONCEPT THAT JUST FLASHED BEFORE MY EYES. and you didnt. you bitch. I kid. But yeah that deadline line i was thinking "EXPAND ON THE FACT ITS A DEAD-LINE" and then right before it in the line about things being due when they're assigned i was like "OMG ITS CALLED A DEAD LINE, KILL THE NEXT BAR" and you kinda did so that was cool. seriously. That Virtue flip was also pretty dope. This felt a little like a keystyle in some ways though - and i dont mean it disrespectfully it just felt very stream-of-conscious like the hakuta matata part and shit but then you dropped some dope lines too so whatever. Solid verse
vote -- Mike Wrecka because I thought he killed it.
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