The beat is good, your delivery is good and the lyrics are OK to good. But they don't all match up. You're going too fast and there are a few too many things going on in the beat for a song that supposedly has deep lyrics. Plus, the theme is pretty general and generic.
You have all the tools to do it, though, and this was a fine listen.
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I'm just swinging swords strictly based on keyboards, unbalanced like elephants and ants on seesaws.
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