geno. i enjoyed your story. sort of a 'revenge of the nerds' climax. you unraveled different elements of the story subsequently as it carried on, almost gives the impression that you were just sort of coming up with ideas and rolling with it. the beginning seemed more open-ended and you just narrowed in more and more as you continued. it felt mechanically struggle-worthy at moments, like you have this rhythm and you are willing to sacrifice your diction to fill that metronome. im not talking multies here. strictly the 'flow'. but either way it was a unique spin on this and for that sir, i commend you. the essence was handmade but the shell looked a bit artificial..
campbell - i think i appreciated this because my submission this week moderately touched on a couple of the issues you raised. conscious and mind / brain. cogito ergo sum. youre using the brain as a parallel for a prison that holds our entire human experience hostage. it's always a fascinating subject to flesh out a bit and get people thinking. i think you kept a pretty good pace for your discussion. you did not use language that really articulated these ideas very well but everything made sense and i suppose it does show a real understanding for the concept. jargon is only as informative as the textbook index it came from. i wish i had more time to break down some of your content but this is a bit of a quick vote for me, which sucks cause i hate to make you guys feel cheated out of a decent commentary. post them in OM if you'd like a couple more viewpoints.
anyway. this was a really contrasted match, which is how i like them.
makes for a very difficult decision..
but if im weighing all my options
even though camp bell had a much better interpretation of the topic imo, he did not do the grandiosity of his ambitions any real justice here..
for that reason i have to vote for the verse i really enjoyed reading more, and felt gave a more impressive performance
GENOCIDAL
thanks guys.
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Zack Wicks for president
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