[Natural]

Originally Posted by Objective

.:: But I Digress ::.

More symbolic than Christ on the cross;
I'm at a loss, the skin; I'm peeling it off.
To deal with this cough is demeaning and tough,
still not feeling it's worth concealing I'm soft.
Reavealing the cost leaves bills to be found,
the weight doesn't keep my feet on the ground.
↑Fuck everybody else. Imo the above is dope.
Can it be better? Always....but one must draw a line
Somewhere on nitpicking. I enjoyed it.

↓ this line through off the cadence(at least how I read it)
But picks right back up after wards.
A defeaning sound shy's me from listening,
disguise the prey's vision is missing conditioning.
Shrinks positioning expose cracks in the plans,
it's recieved as personal attacks on demand.
I believed in my fire 'til it stopped igniting this
pacifist with an iron fist fighting lies with bliss.
It struck me as lightning hits all over the dome,
and my old town seems to be closer to home.
A bold clown's exposure reign mind-benders throne,
this dog settles his bone writing offenders in stone.
The pretenders has grown to humanity's clone,
when insanity phones from a palace unknown
the malice is formed, come see Alice perform
in the rabbit hole where formalities swarm.

They are however correct that these last two lines
are significantly stronger.

Overall enjoyable

And never sacrafice rhyming for a story
If you take that advice you should write a novel
Become the next j.k. rowling
You gotta rhyme to rap and by my estimate
you're not too shabby.
Yes be eloquent with words and try to be cohesive in
plot....but if you take away rhymes its just a book.