Obj... you've gotta try two things: Write short stories and also read a lot of fiction. I feel like your style is still cramped by narrow rhyming capabilities. You are from Finland if I remember correctly, or was it Scandinavia? Sorry if you are offended that I forgot. I have trouble retaining information sometimes, you can call it short term memory or w/e.
the malice is formed, come see Alice perform
in the rabbit hole where formalities swarm.
^These lines were sick. Everyone liked them because they had an extra spark the rest of the verse didn't. You have to believe in the content you write. Rhyming should be secondary, as important as it is. Say something, don't rhyme something. Say something of significance. Just my two cents.
Keep doing you
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