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Old 03-02-2013, 01:58 PM   #12
bleak
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Not exactly a landslide, they both had 2 standouts. Beretta's being Eisenhart (Even though I've seen something like this) and his closer, although it could have been made a lil more clearer. It still hit, and I liked the lines that didn't stand out too. You had pretty clean execution, which helped the couple concepts that didn't have power behind them without it.

Tron had his opener and closer, which were nice. Honestly I probably wouldn't have noticed the thought behind the first punch, had muff not said something. Still tho, other than those 2 the rest weren't deliver very well. I can see the concepts, and how you probably wanted to employ them. The way they stand could have been executed cleaner. A decent verse, but it read like a rushed key.

V/Beretta
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