[PancakeBrah]

vv:

"A departure from the the larva's ascent...
For one to grow so, I've shrunken by large and harvest resent-
ment for counterparts in arts I've, over time, decided neglect-
ing. Bent. But equally as starved of affection,
That I seek it from the peanut gallery in charge of inspection."

I liked this, overall. I think you'd have been better served dropping the 'ment' and 'ing' off of resentment and neglecting. I think it'd have read a bit more blunt and unique. Still solid. I liked the last thought of this section in particular. It was well put.

"Introspection is the writer's reflection...
But what of pretention? The spite of inception?"

Didn't like this particular bar as much as the first. The first line seemed a bit redundant. Second line was serviceable.

"A father famed and drifting. childless, respected.
The unfortunate offspring in the shadow of legends.
Posturing in mirrors, gesturing sessions...
Overcompensation in company, but separate"

Really enjoyed the last line and, by association, the second to last. Lack of confidence and the feeling of being apart instead of being a part. Well worded. Cool.

One is rarely expected of, or selected
as dad would,
Because on November 1st, the second skin is a shedded fit.
Fuck a lame's incepid conception. I'm not irrelevant."

The last line could have been corny but the piece leading up to it, the theme of your writing, and the strong use of grammar made it work.

Good shtuff. Nothing earth shattering but a nice little verse.

Certain:

"I've been more trigger-happy than usual lately,
with luminous hatred consuming my faceless identity
until I'm fruitlessly pacing.

Nice opening line. Gets right into, grabs attention. Liked everything about this opening section except MAYBE luminous. I can't decide if I like its use or if its a bit forced. Aside from that, good.

"I want to be better, too.
It's prudent to straighten your tie before a job interview.
Cheeks betray impossible youth. Eyes betray nothing.
Pining for trust. Sighs became dust in the wind."

I liked the straighten your tie line. A very matter of fact, perfunctory, and utilitarian fact couched within a verse like this just bleeds malaise. That's how I took it, at least. Could also have been a command, but I don't think that's the intent you had for it. Eyes betray nothing was nice. Dust in the wind was a bit cliche for you, I think.

"Lies became push-pins,
tacking up accomplishments."

Ha.

"Shacked up, reading back issues of The Economist.
I'm harmless. Yes, I advocate disarmament
but spew homing missiles latching on to targets and
passively regard death as a passing fad, a martyr's rest.
But you're all I've ever wanted."

Solid ending. Death as a passing fad was fun.

I think you both complimented each other well. Before I clicked on this topic I was expecting a bit more length but this was nice for a short little collab. Thanks for the read fellas.