[PancakeBrah]

Wise is right, the last two lines were nice. Your grammar was a little off in certain spots which threw off my read through. My overarching problem with this piece is I'm not entirely sure of the point. Seems like an introspective piece but there's no home base for me. Also, this piece seemed scheme/rhyme driven as opposed to content driven ('defeaning (sic) sound' 'all over the dome' for example) which hurts an introspective piece in my opinion. I liked the "and my old town seems to be closer to home" line. Nice bit of nostalgia, well written. That and the ending lines were the highlight to me.