[PancakeBrah]

This was okay. Your use of language matched the lofty scope you wanted this to have and there were portions of this verse that indeed felt very feudal. Your flow and rhymes were a bit awkward at a handful of different points, though. The rhymes went from standard to off-kilter at a moments notice. The rhythm and schemes I was able to pick up were pretty good but overall this lacked the technical moment I enjoy in the best of open mics. I liked the audacity of this piece and it had a lot of good ideas strewn about but I think you needed to tighten the screws a little bit, if that makes sense. Keep writing.