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Old 12-11-2013, 11:40 PM   #9
patrown
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NYCSPITZ - for me personally, contumacious and sagacious were just a stab at the less-well-read. and it hurt my start. used dictionary many times throughout. but i'm probably not your target audience so that statement was unnecessary.. anyhoo. i was searching for meaning a lot. and after i found it, i was able to enjoy the piece. still left awith a few questions as anything good should end.. but i felt like a stronger peak would've helped.

breathless- Overall, i liked this! who would have thought the ol tore up stripper would get her (presuming rich) club owner to take her on as a wife? that's pretty cool man. i enjoyed that. but seriously, that virgin throwback really needed some kind of relation to the rest of the verse. it was a helluvan abrupt way to end and honestly... it needed to be woven in there. everything else was very good though. i enjoyed the offbeat way you rhymed. i caught the rhythm on the second read.

/v NYC- i felt satisfied with his conclusion. the story felt complete. although i actually felt more relaxed reading breathless's verse, in the end, nyc came through with the more functional piece. and for that, i think he took this. hard call for me though. great battle.
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