mw- i enjoyed the piece. just didn't really connect with it. wanted more from some places, thought a few word choices were odd. but i still felt your effort. strange turn of events. i got a feeling this is some kind of metaphor i'm unable to grasph ahold of. lines like this..
the reinforced basement just minimally shook,
felt a little off to me. i liked these though..
kept deep in his basement, was stacks wall to wall,
he reinforced it with steel so the towers wouldn't fall,
or collapse, matter of fact it was where he spent most of his time,
reading while dreaming and seeing explosions in his mind,
good drop.
diode- "breathing's revoked" threw me off a little bit.
and i really enjoyed these three..
learning, stirring, reading, seething, practing, and hating
unwaning.. they feed you what you want to hear.
engraining.. the wicked words that are ringing in your ears.
can't say i didn't see it coming @ sharia. still.. you told the story well. would've liked a little bit more of some twisted ideals, or some kind of self justification. it was told matter of fact, and i would've liked a bit more drama from your subject.
/v diode - storytelling goes a long way sometimes.
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