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Old 12-11-2013, 10:03 PM   #10
breathless
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Mike - not bad, but honestly, nothing really wowed me here, the part about the beetle transformation threw me off, maybe I'm just missing the allusion reference. But yea, a lot of the rhymes were sorta basic, read, dead, head, with arbitrary multis to brighten them up. It read sort of stop and go for me with some syllabic dissonance that didn't have conducive counterparts to make em harmonize

Diode - even though this was basically some 9/11 shit,,it provided more backstory on the terrorist, his mundane thoughts (florida weather and such) that was pleasing, humanized the bad guy some. The piece was complete, start to end, and the death being the instant of clarity was a nice way to finish it

Vote - Diode
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