Good first week showing from both you fellas you both got two different styles. So lets get to the vote.
Aesthetic: Good verse really but it seemed to me like it was missing something. The message you were trying to portray came through but your rhyme scheme seemed bland in some parts imo. I would say add in some inner rhymes or change up the rhyme scheme every now and then to keep it new and different. Just some constructive critism lol. But good drop and I really enjoyed the paragraph at the end.
Vinzr: Did you really write this fucked up? It doesn't seem like it I call bullshit lol. But really I felt you had the more elaborate rhyme scheme and to me captured the quote better to me. You tackled the quote on a literal level and I think it payed off for you in this battle. Nothing much for me to say to you other than dope drop.
In the end my vote goes to Vinzr but as I said before good drop from both of you
|